The original language is rather abstruse so I have tried to modernize the text as far as possible to make it understandable.
Balthazar writes:
I don’t know what prompted us to start out on this long journey from Persia to Palestine but the signs were there in the sky and they were irresistible. Jupiter was in conjunction with Saturn in the constellation of Pisces and, as everybody knows, this meant something important was happening to the Jewish people. Moreover, by retrograde motion , Jupiter and Saturn had formed an exact conjunction three times and also once with Mars.
I was talking it over with my pals Gaspar and Melchior over a goblet of wine one night when Gaspar brought his fist down on the table and said: “Man Dieu, zis ees an opportunity we must not miss. We must go to Palestine tout de suite. Who knows maybe ze new King of ze Jews is being born, hein?”
Gaspar had come to study astrology in Persia from Gaul and his friends called him ‘Froggy Gaspar’ or ‘Frenchy’.
But I know he did not like these nicknames so I put my arms round him.
“Gas par, mon ami, don’t get so excited. The journey you are contemplating is a long and tiring one, fraught with dangers. We must think about it.
What does Melchior say?”
Melchior lifted his goblet and took a dainty sip, with his pinky stretched out. “Quite frankly, l3althaziu, I think Frenchy’s idea is absolutely thrilling. I’d love to go to Palestine. I know it’s a long journey but we’ll take sleeping bags and plenty of bread and wine.
And if we meet any fierce tribesmen on the way you just leave them to me,” he said, winking slyly at his companions.
Since it was two to one in favor I reluctantly agreed to go along with them, even though the autumn change of weather was playing hell with my sciatica. As we headed west towards Palestine we saw a bright star in the night sky moving along with us. Since all three of us were experienced astrologers, this phenomenon was one which naturally aroused our interest.
“What can it be?” I asked. “It is none of the stars of planets we know.”
“Eet ees a flying saucer!” Gaspar exclaimed.
“Flying saucers are not stationary,” Melchior snorted, “they whizz about at supersonic speeds.”
“Perhaps eet ees a flying saucer en panne, how you say, wiz engine trouble, hein?”
In my opinion it was a sign from heaven , sent to guide us on our journey, and I said so. We agreed to follow it. As the days went by our camels grew more and more cantankerous and my sciatica was almost unbearable. Gaspar, who suffered from asthma, began wheezing and complaining about the damp nights while Melchior, who was troubled with piles, had to dismount frequently and walk beside his camel.
At long last the star stopped above the small town of Bethlehem. We saw a lonely shepherd standing guard over large flocks of sheep.
“Ho there,” I cried. “What are you doing in the dark, my good man?”
“Abiding by the fields,” he answered.
“Where. are the other shepherds?”
“Oh, they’ve gone into town. An angel came down among us and told us the King of the Jews had been born in Bethlehem and they’ve ,all gone to see Him.”
“And where is He?” I asked.
The shepherd shrugged. “I don’t know. At the inn, I suppose.”
We hastened to the inn but the night clerk told us nobody had been born there that night and, anyway, they’d been fully booked for a week. He told us to try the stable just outside the town.
“I am not going anywhere until I have had a bath and changed my clothes,” Melchior said firmly.
“And I simply must ‘ave a steaming kettle for my inhalations,” Gaspar wheezed. “Or else zis asthma will be ze death of me!” My sciatica was so bad that I too felt I needed a couple of hours of rest before we made any calls on anyone, let alone the future King of the Jews. I slipped the night clerk a gold piece and in no time at all he had us fixed up in the best rooms the inn could offer.
A couple of hours later, with a fine meal under our belts and wearing our best robes, we made our way to the stable. We saw the Christ child lying in the manger, an aura of splendor all around and the shepherds worshipping in adoration. Joseph bowed low and bade us enter. “I am greatly honored to receive the visit of you wise men from the East,” he said, looking at us rather expectantly.
Gaspar, being quicker on the uptake than I, wheezed into my ear:
“Presents, we didn’t bring any presents. Quelle honte. What will we do?”
But Melchior saved the occasion by pulling out a bag of frankincense and offering it to Joseph. “I bring the finest frankincense from the East,” he said.
“It has many medical properties and when burnt in a censer, its aroma is balm for the soul.”
We knew that Melchior used it to make a soothing unguent for his affliction and we admired him for parting with it so readily.
Not to be outdone, Gaspar stepped forward and gave Joseph a bag of myrrh. “Take zis myrrh, man ami,” he said. “If you boil it in water and make steam wiz eet, ees ze best ting for colds · in ze head or asthma.” Joseph accepted the myrrh gravely and turned to me.
I had nothing to give except some gold pieces – barely enough to pay our bill at the inn and see us home tci Persia. After making some quick calculations in my head , I finally fished out five gold pieces and gave them to Joseph. He bowed gravely and thanked us for our generosity.
Outside, Melchior said: “Well boys, we’ve done our duty. That was a marvellous experience. I thought the baby was adorable, simply adorable. I’m sure He’ll make a delightful King. Let’s go back to the inn now. I’m dying to sleep in a proper bed once again.”
“So am I,” Gaspar echoed.
“Not so fast,” I exclaimed. “The gold I gave was all we had for our bill at the inn. I’ve barely enough now to buy some bread and wine for the return journey. So it’s sleeping bags again and an early start in the morning before the inn-keeper catches up with us with his bill for the baths and the meal.”
“Oh, no,” the others groaned. “This is impossible! We simply can’t start back without proper rest.”
I must admit I too didn’t relish the prospect of having to ·suffer once again the agonies of my sciatica on the road without at least one night of relaxation.
And then, suddenly, I realized there was no longer an ache. I felt my back and my thigh. The pain was completely gone.
“I say, boys,” I said. “You know, my pain isn’t there. I don’t feel it any more!”
Gaspar drew a deep breath. “And my asthma! Zat’s gone too!”
Melchior looked at us with a quizzical expression. “You know, I’d say that my piles have also disappeared.”
“How can this be explained?” I asked with a frown. Gaspar tilted his head towards the manger. “You tink perhaps ze little Baby had sumsin’ to do wiz zees?”
“I don’t know,” I said, “but if he had, it is a miracle and the most wonderful gift anyone could have made us in return for our meagre offerings.”
“Indeed, indeed,” my companions said. “A tniracle indeed!”
And there ends Balthazar’s text. There are two more words at the bottom of the scroll, so faded that they are barely discernible. I suspect they read: “Merry Christmas!”
