January
After what seems like an eternity, the importation of bananas in Greece is allowed again after strong representations from France which is anxious to sell the produce of its departments of Guadeloupe and Martinique to all its EEC partners. When the first shipment arrives in Piraeus, the peddlers who have been selling Cretan bananas from pickup trucks on the national roads stage a protest in front of the presidential palace, claiming they will lose their daily bread now that they can no longer sell the Cretan fruit at fancy prices. When the president’s wife asks to know and is told what the fuss is all about, she goes down in history by saying: “If they have no bread, let them eat their bananas!”
February
Angry motorists in Ambelokipi, kept waiting by a traffic policeman through ten changes of traffic lights so that the prime minister might drive down from Ekali, lose their patience and thrash the poor cop to within an inch of his life. As he is carried into an ambulance he is heard to say: “And I didn’t even vote for the son of a -” (the last part of the phrase being drowned out by the wail of the siren as the ambulance drives off).
March
The presidents of Argentina, Mexico and Tanzania and the prime ministers of Sweden, Greece and India hold a meeting of the Initiative of the Six in the Fiji Islands and call for an immediate halt to nuclear testing in the Pacific. On his return, the Greek prime minister says he has found considerable interest among Fijian businessmen in making investments in Greece and that Greece’s geographic position made it a natural bridge for trade between western Europe and Fiji.
April
There are rumors that there is to be yet another cabinet reshuffle but that the premier is having difficulty in finding new talent to fill cabinet posts. Mysterious ads appear: WANTED, unemployed persons, preferably hirsute, with no administrative experience but with a good grounding in socialist theory, willing to tackle any responsible job and prepared to be fired or forced to resign without warning. Send c. v. and a recent photograph to Villa Galini, Kastri.
May
After an incognito visit to the United States by the prime minister there are rurpors that he had a secret meeting with President Reagan. Asked by reporters whether this is true, the president laughs, waves his hand and says that if he did meet with Mr Papandreou he can’t remember what was said and if he didn’t meet with him, he can’t remember that either. When Mr Papandreou is asked the same question he says he was deeply moved by everyone he met during his visit and that many American businessmen were interested in investing in Greece,’ the country’s geographical position making it a natural bridge between the United States and the countries of Eastern Europe with which Greece maintains extremely cordial relations.
June
Archaeologists digging at Vergina discover more graves with frescoes depicting Philip of Macedon and other royal personages of the time. The fact that some ancient graffitist has drawn beards on faces and covered the walls with slogans and four-letter words proves beyond a doubt that Macedonia has been Greek for thousands of years.
July
The long-awaited visit of Mr Gorbachev to Greece takes place amidst much rejoicing by left-wingers. At the end of the visit the prime minister says he was deeply moved by his talks with the secretary-general who displayed considerable interest in making further investments in Greece, besides the alumina plant, (work on the construction of which .was due to begin in a few years’ time) since Greece’s geographical position makes it a natural bridge to countries in the Middle East with which Greece maintains extremely cordial relations.
August
Unable to find a candidate for the ministry of national economy, the prime minister finally appoints Mr Haralambopoulos to the post in addition to other ministerial duties. Announcing the appointment, the prime minister says “Mr Haralambopoulos is a person in whom I have complete and utter confidence and just about” the only member of the cabinet who can cope with my unpredictable ways without turning a well-combed hair.”
September
Students, who have occupied and barricaded themselves in the university and the polytechnic since January” are finally persuaded to come out after assurances by the minister of education that they will be given their diplomas without examinations and will be entitled to post-graduate degrees only upon payment of a small fee.
October
The private detective agency hired by the Greek government to track down the Greek-American who promised to make multi-million dollar investments in Greece and who later · disappeared, finally discovers him on a yacht roaming the eastern Mediterranean and looking for those natural bridges that link Greece to everywhere else in the world.
November
The polytechnic memorial celebrations once more culminate with a march on the American Embassy. Having noticed the marble-faced tank traps on the previous year’s march, many of the demonstrators arrive with food hampers and folding chairs for an early dinner round the tank traps. Mrs Papandreou again takes the opportunity to renew her passport.
December
In his end-of-the-year message, the prime minister assures the Greek people that after seven years of PASOK rule, the economy is now well on the road to recovery and that PASOK will win a resounding victory in the 1989 elections as it has done so many times in the past.
